Archives for the month of: December, 2010

17 Rules Between Men and Women

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time..

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn’t abide by THE RULES, it is because he can’t take the heat, lacks ackbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

Where does your man keep his condoms? Where’s the strangest place you’ve seen them at a dude’s place?

1. What it means if he keeps condoms everywhere…
A gentleman will keep his sex habits to himself (in terms of a dating blogger, who claims to be a gentleman, saying this, please feel free to comment with a giant “FAIL!”). He won’t leave condoms everywhere in plain sight, letting you know or think that he’s in constant need.

Extra points off he leaves them so that you can “mistakenly” find them, like peeking out of his bedside table; if he’s going to pretend to be a giant man-whore, he should at least have the decency to own it.

2. What it means if he keeps condoms in the bathroom…
This used to be my go-to, but I’ve since learned. I understand the temptation to keep all things purchased within the walls of a pharmacy in the bathroom, but not only is it inconvenient to say “excuse me” and go jogging across your apartment, in full-boner, and then back, to fetch a condom, but there’s an added chance for error, or loss of interest, that I am no longer willing to risk. I could fall, or bang my shin, or get distracted by my phone. Or worse, by the time I got back, she could have become engaged with her knitting, found something better to do, or otherwise come to her senses.

3. What it means if he keeps condoms nowhere…
Obvious red flag, though completely forgivable in the right circumstances, which include “I guess I ran out,” (man-whore embarrassment) or “I didn’t think I’d be having sex,” (unprepared embarrassment), or “I thought you’d have one,” (presumption embarrassment).

Even with the above, I think a lack of protection is a good reason to raise some eyebrows.
There can be a perfectly reasonably explanation, but if he’s not used to using condoms, and by that I mean, he’s used to having sex without them, beware.

For the record, I keep mine (which are Durex, Bare—they are the least obtrusive—the thinnest brand I can trust) in four places: my Naughty Book, a large volume that has some pages carved out of it, next to my bed; the drawer of my nightstand, next to my bed (in a small white sack labeled “condoms,” which I took from a hotel); one “emergency condom” in an antique cigarette case on my book shelf; in my bathroom (medicine chest for backups and toiletry bag for travel).

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/11/sex-where-guys-keep-their-cond.html#ixzz18WzDXS7S

Women’s Rights

Mara Carfagna

Mara Carfagna Italy’s Minister For Equal Opportunities Posed for Nude Photos And Says No, No, No, To The Muslim Burqa, It’s A Crime…
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi tapped Mara Carfagna to be Italy’s Minister for Equal Opportunities last year. Before entering politics, Carfagna’s career spanned stints as a TV personality, a topless model for raunchy photo shoots, and a sixth-place finish as Miss Italy. According to The Daily Telegraph, seventy-one-year-old Berlusconi told Carfagna at an awards dinner last year that if he wasn’t married, he would “gladly marry” her. Berlusconi’s wife, according to the report, sent a letter demanding an apology for embarrassing the budding politician.



Christmas Kiss
Let’s Kiss For Christmas,
For our love is strong,
Let’s Kiss For Christmas,
Together is where we belong,
With passion so much brighter,
Than any sparkling light,
We’ve waited so long,
And prayed for this night,
Let’s Kiss For Christmas,
Let’s Kiss For Christmas!

by Trade Martin

Top 10 Male Body Parts Women Love
Every man is dying to know what male body parts turn women on the most. Well, guess what? I surveyed over 100 women and asked them that very question. Not only did their replies blow me away, but I quickly came to the realization that I need to get my sorry butt into the gym on a more permanent basis.

Although the question revolved solely around body parts, women had some things to add regarding the parts they selected. Whether it had to do with proper hygiene or grooming, the women were not shy about their demands. And we all know how supply and demand go hand-in-hand.
ten parts of men
The following list is made up of the most popular selections in specific order from what’s fine and dandy to the very best. Take note and learn how to keep your woman happy.

10- Sharply shaped shoulders

Of the 100 women surveyed, a vast majority had a lot to say about shoulders. They like it when a man has well-defined, broad shoulders because they’re a sign of strength and masculinity.

One woman wrote, “I love when a man moves his shoulders and you’re able to see the (muscle) definition.” Another gal added, “Running my fingers across broad, lean ones excites me immeasurably. That’s why I love giving my boyfriend massages in this area.” So it’s time to get to work at the gym, and as the list goes on, you’ll quickly come to the same realization yourself.

9- Chiseled chest

All men love a nice pair of breasts — real or fake. As long as they look good, we’re not complaining. Well, women have the same requirements (minus that whole fake thing though).

Perfect pecs are part of the whole image women have conjured up in their fantasy-filled daydreams. Most ladies said that they like being able to envision what a man’s chest looks like under his clothes. The way a sweater or chemise falls on a man’s body, they profess, reveals a lot about what’s under there.

How fair is that? They get to have those push-up, water-filled, padded bras that create a complete illusion of what’s really under there. And what do we have? I think Seinfeld ‘s Kramer was on the right track with the man’s bra — or should I say The Bro ?

8- Bulging biceps

Come on… you knew it was coming. Big, well-defined biceps don’t just signify strength, they also reveal that you’re taking good care of your body. And if there’s one thing women love, it’s a man who takes care of things.

As with the chest, women love when they’re able to get a hint of a man’s biceps either through his sweater or when he wears a T-shirt and they can see the start of the rippling muscle (their words, not mine).

It also doesn’t hurt when guys are able to lift them up and maneuver their bodies effortlessly when they’re engaging in crazy “slam you up against the wall” sex. So I guess that mom was just kidding all those times she told us that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Real funny.

7- Luscious lips

Oh my, what big ass lips you have! That’s right guys; we’re not the only ones who long for Angelina Jolie-like lips. Women like full mouths on men not just for their aesthetic appeal, but for those more intimate things we can do with them.

One woman wrote, “I love to suck on a man’s thick lips until they’re swollen and then I like to rub ice on them while I kiss them.” Yeah, I like to do that to lips too, just not the ones she’s referring to.

But women were very diverse in the lip department. Some liked only thick bottom lips and some even preferred thinner lips. Perhaps that’s because they all prefer the…

6- Tantalizing tongue

If there’s one talent that women appreciate immensely, it’s a man’s ability to use his tongue as though it were a saliva-producing penis with an attitude. Lots of women were quick to point out that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body, but that is highly debatable.

Although some women chose the tongue for those intimate kissing sessions, most specified that it was because they enjoyed being kissed “down there.” Down where? Can u lingis?

Everything from using the tip of your tongue to tease the clitoris to using your entire tongue to lick the vagina from top to bottom was mentioned here. Even penetrating her with it was quite popular. I notice that upon this subject, the ladies’ writing began getting somewhat shaky. Hmm, I wonder why?

– Hygienic hands

“One thing I love about my boyfriend are his big, thick, clean hands.” Until I heard the word hands , I could’ve sworn that she was talking about something else. Actually the word “clean” threw me off somewhat. Do most men have filthy hands?

Another surveyed woman mentioned that a man’s hands say a lot about him. Come on , I thought, that’s just a myth . But she was referring to other things like what he does for a living and what he emits about himself to the world.

A more interesting woman stated that she loves sucking on a man’s fingers and mimicking fellatio. So keep those hands in tiptop shape; you never who might want to wrap their mouth around those fingers.

4- Honed hips

Whereas in this day and age, the smaller a woman’s hips the better, surprisingly enough, women also like holding on to our hips when having sex. They love the fact that our hips are narrow. I think they’re just jealous.

“I find that hollow area under the ribs that ends above the hipbones irresistible. A woman’s hands belong there.” I couldn’t agree more.

3- Awesome abs

It’s absolutely no surprise that women love that washboard stomach. The ripples are the epitome of what a man is defined by. Men should strive for that six-pack, and no, I’m not referring to Budweiser.

Some women didn’t necessarily require rock hard abs, but a flat stomach was important just the same. “No woman wants to have sex with a man who has to physically lift his belly in order to put it in.” Wow, I never knew that that was possible!

Women do have a point though. I’m not rushing to hop into bed with any woman whose stomach jiggles and is loose, so why should they? Taut tummies are a prerequisite in the bedroom, so like I said before: hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to the gym we go…

2- Primped penis

Ah finally, they got to my personal favorite (but only my own ding-a-ling, that is… not that there’s anything wrong with that). And although they didn’t specify that size matters, they did say that they required a “good size.” Yeah, good and plenty…

But more importantly, a lot of women mentioned that a properly groomed groin area was very important. “I don’t like spitting out curly, coarse hair when I’m in the middle of a fellatio marathon.” So break out the razors, wax and depilatories, it’s time to make a forest clearing.

Other things that women mentioned:

Proportionate skin color (body to penis)
Not too veiny
Circumcised
Uncircumcised
Not too small
Not too big
Thick
Nice smell (I guess they expect reciprocity)

1- Buff butt

I guess the one thing this survey goes to show is that women are not that much different from men. Then again, I don’t think they’re as big on slapping our butts as we are with theirs.

Some women wrote that they love those “half-moon” butts, while others preferred the “slightly curvaceous” ones. “It’s usually the athletic guys that have the nicest butts… oh and Brad Pitt.” Some chick was bound to throw that one in.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/41b_love_tip.html

Time & Eternity

ONE dignity delays for all,
One mitred afternoon.
None can avoid this purple,
None evade this crown.
Coach it insures, and footmen,
Chamber and state and throng;
Bells, also, in the village,
As we ride grand along.
What dignified attendants,
What service when we pause!
How loyally at parting
Their hundred hats they raise!
How pomp surpassing ermine,
When simple you and I
Present our meek escutcheon,
And claim the rank to die!

Risk
To laugh, is to risk playing the fool.
To weep, is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another, is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings, is to risk exposing our true selves.
To put your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss.
To love, is to risk not being loved in return.
To live, is to risk dying.
To hope, is to risk despair.
To try at all, is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they simply cannot learn, change, feel, grow, love, live…
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves.

ONLY THE PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE.

I’M OUT OF TOILET PAPER!!!