Archives for the month of: May, 2011

Favorite Body Parts in Portugal, SI Swimsuit 2010

If I could be anything but what I am, I would be tomorrow. If I could be what my father wants me to be, then maybe I could stay for that, too. If I could be what you want me to be, I’d want to stay. But I am what I am, and all I want is freedom.
– ‘Looking for Alibrandi’

Some of us are just trying to get through the day without breaking something. – Pacey, Dawson’s Creek

Half of writing history is hiding the truth.- Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, ‘Serenity’

Y’all got on this boat for different reasons, but y’all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this – they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin’. I aim to misbehave. – Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, ‘Serenity’

Being an adult means to have a speedometer that marks 210 and not driving over 60 – ‘Love me if you Dare’

I came here to kick butt and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum. – They Live (1988)

Ohhh man! I will never forgive your ass for this shit! This is some fucked-up repugnant shit! – Pulp Fiction

Adam’s first words to Eve: “Stand back, I don`t know how big this thing gets!” – “Dear Hope”

Harry:”A man can never be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.”
Sally:”That’s not true! I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.”
Harry:”No, you don’t”
Sally:”Yes, I do.”
Harry:”No, you don’t”
Sally:”You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?”
Harry:”No, I’m saying they all want to have sex with you.”
Sally:”Well, what if they don’t want to have sex with you?”
Harry:”It doesn’t matter because the sex part is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.”
Sally:”So a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?”
Harry:”No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.” – When Harry Met Sally

Senator, my offer is this: nothing. Not even the price of the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally. – The Godfather

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. -Braveheart

Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse. – Braveheart

Freedom baby, is never having to say your sorry.- Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate

When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you’ve been searching for all these years. -Leonardo DiCaprio – The Beach (2000)

What NOT to do when you realize you have a cheating spouse
By S. Jordan

Lately you’ve been suspicious of your significant other. They appear to be taking better care of themselves, spending more time showering, getting dressed and more concerned with their appearance. He or she even went ahead and got that gym membership that you talked about at the beginning of the year. Initially, you were glad to know that all of the so called nagging you’ve been doing has finally paid off. Then it hits you. Not only are they more concerned with their physical appearance, but their new found confidence has actually changed their attitude, for the worse!

They start staying out late, going to parties and events that you aren’t invited to and paying you less attention. This person all of a sudden has friends you’ve never met (and you’ve met all of them, or so you thought)! Not to mention the private phone conversations and the sudden need to have the phone glued to their side. Heaven forbid if you innocently asked, “Who was that on the phone sweetie?” Instead of the usual Chris, Bob, Cindy or Jill it becomes an argument. MAJOR RED FLAG!

You don’t have proof but something just doesn’t seem right. It’s like a dreary thought that won’t go away. You decide to confide in your friends and family but they all say the same thing. “Do you really think he/she is cheating”? Do you have any substantial evidence? Maybe you’re just overreacting!

Deep down you know something is wrong so you confront your spouse. And not surprisingly your spouse denied it. As a matter of fact they acted as if the mere thought of cheating on you was impossible because of the love and respect they have for you. So, like the forgiving person you are, you take their word. You have no reason not to, but for some reason those negative feeling just won’t go away.

You’ve been so paranoid lately. Then all of a sudden it’s staring you right in the face. Maybe you saw the two of them together… You found a phone number and decided to call… You hired a private investigator… A trustworthy friend called to deliver the bad news! However it happened, you finally discovered that the person you love is a coldblooded cheater. You have proof, but now what? The last thing you want to do is overreact, but how could you not?! My advice is simple, so please take a deep breath and think. And try not to do this!

Do not become a stalker! If you decide to stay with your partner, do not take up a hobby as a psycho detective in your spare time. You are going to have to get over what he or she did in order to move on. Checking up on you spouse is not going to change what they did or prevent them for doing it again. You have to trust that you made the right decision to work it out, and in time you partner should prove to you (by their actions) that it was a one time slip up and it won’t happen again. If it does, maybe it’s time to move on.

Do Not Sleep around! Sometimes we have it in our head to seek revenge. And revenge to most of us is to do the exact same thing that caused the lack of trust in the relationship in the first place. “She cheated on me so I’ll do the same to her”. Not only is it childish, but it only creates more problems. This may be an old saying but, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”!

Do Not Attack the person they cheated with! This is a common mistake with many. To go after the other man or woman will not help the situation because this person did not make a commitment to you. There are some instances where the other person may be a friend or someone who is aware that you’re in a relationship, but regardless of that fact, your main concern should be with your spouse.

Do not compare yourself! I highly doubt that when your boyfriend, fiance, or husband started cheating he thought to himself, “She’s taller, cuter, slimmer, etc”. Same for you men out there! Women are not comparing looks, and if so I’m almost certain this is not the reason behind their infidelity.. That being said, the act of cheating itself is usually deeper than the physical appearance of the other person. Your partner may just have some issues within themselves that they need to work out.

Do Not Blame yourself for their infidelity! You are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own, Period! Did YOU cheat? Were YOU unfaithful? Did YOU lie to the person you love? You see where I’m going with this. Unless you gave your spouse permission to see other people, better yet you pointed a gun to his head and said go cheat, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Do Not Resort to violence of any kind! (tire slashing, window breaking or domestic violence) especially if children are involved. You don’t want to set a bad example for your children. Legal action can also be taken against you. Depending on how far you take it, word can get out about you behavior and you can lose your job (hurt the reputation of your company), friends and disapproving family members. Plus in the end you look like the real idiot.

Letting GO
I understand that you may be going through a lot, especially if you’ve invested lots of time in the relationship. Cheating devastates any relationship, so correct me if I’m wrong to say that when a married man or woman finds out that their husband or wife cheated, it’s a little more heart breaking than a boyfriend or girlfriend who cheats, because of the level of commitment expected. Better yet, a person who has spent years with another, and those that have children together suffer more. But the first thing you should do is stop and think about whether or not this is something you are willing to try and work out. For some it’s possible to get pass the devastation and heartbreak, for other’s it’s not that simple. Whatever your course of action is, you will eventually have to learn to let it go. If you decide to work it out with your spouse, you have to get pass it and let it go. If you break up, but have children, you have to let it go for the sake of the kids. Even if you don’t have children, and decide not to stay together, you still need to let it go. The last thing you want to do is bring old baggage into a new relationship. LET IT GO!

Willow Smith-Whip my hair Lyrics

How to Avoid Damaged Women
By jagmarcoux
This is a touchy topic. You must all know at least one guy whether you be male or female that has had a bad relationship with a woman. I have had a few, I’m sure you have and maybe people you know have gone through the same thing. I’ll be writing a topic later on the same situation geared for my women friends out there, but today, it’s for the guys. Don’t get me wrong, I have women friends, and two sisters who have been through situations of crazy women in their boyfriend’s lives, so they can relate to what I’m writing about.. (Nancy, you remember when you first started dating Shaun and the trouble pyscho Lily was giving you?) lolol..I’m sure she is chuckling right now. Love you little sis!

There is a great document that I found about two years ago that actually helped me avoid future bad realtionships, called how to avoid the damaged women guide. It was an eye opener for me and helped me weed out the bad ones, especially the ones that I met on Internet dating sites. I recommended it to three of my male friends and my sister got a copy too!! I also highly recommend it to all the guys and gals out there who know of crazies like these affecting their fathers, brothers, friends, etc.

Men, sometimes you really to to put aside the physical aspects and see through that varnished artifical armour to see through the real insecure, clingy person beneath. A really damaged woman can affect all areas of your life. She can ruin your career, drain your bank account, make accusations that land you on abuse registries or with domestic violence charges, or damage your children emotionally. She can plaster your face on websites and fliers alleging all sorts of behavior you never did. She can stalk you, your friends, your family, or your children. She can slash your tires, get your fired from your job, or sleep with your friends.

You want to meet the women of your dreams, start by weeding out the bad ones and this will take you to the right one!

Demedicalized Childbirth: Supporting Women as they Embrace Nature
In 1997, the World Health Organization (WHO) called for the demedicalization of childbirth due to the increase in unnecessary interference with the natural process of birth related to the advance of modern medicine.

Statistics show that medical interventions at birth tend to snowball, leading to further interventions. This makes it difficult for a woman to have the natural birth she planned, while increasing the chances for complications with nursing and general healing that frequently come with drugs usually employed in the hospital birthing process. While we can be truly grateful for lifesaving medical technology when it is applied appropriately, natural childbirth is clearly safer and therefore preferable for most normal births. In a culture where natural childbirth is less common and homebirth can seem extreme, how can we support women to embrace nature?

Birth–and death, for that matter–used to be a common and visible part of daily life right in our homes. Simply by proximity, we as a culture used to know what to expect with birth and the postnatal period. Mamas and sisters and aunties and nieces were there and ready to help out with the familiar territory of birth. Men knew their roles and provided a supportive and respectful space for women. This is in sharp contrast to today’s cultural landscape, where we often don’t see the full range of life anymore. The birthing and dying and eschewed away to the doctor’s domain and labor and birth is depicted as an emergency situation on TV ranging from the Cosby Show all the way to ER. It has bred a kind of pervasive, cultural fear where it seems only the “experts” have the answers about grounded, real-life womens issues–not just at birth, but also in the healing period afterward.

Even outside of the doctor’s office, new moms today are often expected to adjust to their new role as Mommy largely on their own; this compounds the problem. Cut off from a living women’s tradition of community support and with the office demanding Daddy and possibly even Mommy back at work ASAP, the modern world refuses to make space. To make matters worse, women often feel that their experience is unique and therefore irrelevant to other women–from the medical particulars of their birth to the individual family situation and beyond–and therefore moms might not readily talk about their experiences with other women, especially those who are not moms themselves. It all adds up to making having a baby in today’s culture often isolating and strange, even in liberal enclaves where lip service is given to community support but where people actually live quite separately from one another. What’s worse, it also robs women of their inherent power.

This is why it is critical that we offer women safe, natural, life-affirming birthing environments whenever possible, rather than fear-driven ones. After that, it is essential to provide a loving and supportive postpartum environment in which she may recover and integrate her birth experience, whether she was able to have her child naturally or not. Expectant women can help themselves by creating thoughtful birth plans for Labor Day and informing those they are close to of their wishes. For the postpartum period, they can teach their friends and family to stock their kitchen with nutritious foods-as-medicines like bone broths and teas to promote healing and a good, basic home herbal pharmacy with simple, safe herbs for lactation support and to combat baby blues. A postpartum choice growing in popularity is to take a retreat and media fast for mom, dad, new baby and siblings only, with only the very closest best friend, caregiving family member or postpartum doula entering the home to help with meal preparation and cleaning.

What Does This Mean?
If a woman trusts that she can birth naturally, a woman trusts that she can meet any challenge in raising that baby–and in fact, many women report after birth that they believe that they can do anything. When a woman is allowed to stand in the power of her birth, she can stand in the power of her life. The cultural implications of that statement are staggering.

When a woman is empowered by the full, natural birth process, she is biochemically, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually better equipped to make the bond with her child that can lead to a deeper bond with humanity. In birthing a child, it is possible recognize the tear between this world and that: from Dao to one, one to two and so on. When she can intimately connect with this new child which only a few minutes, days or weeks ago was the stuff of her own body, her own being, and now is literally ‘other,’ she has the opportunity to dissolve the very sense of separation that we feel with all others–the family, the community, and beyond.

Properly framed, birth is a spiritual act. Not a medical one.

‘I Don’t Trust Women’: Don’t Believe the Hype
By Bene | February 1, 2011

At work you’ve formed a cordial relationship with one of the other women, and you start eating lunch with her regularly. Both of you share some of the same interests, the two of you are always laughing together and seem to get along well. Eventually, the break room chats turn into hanging out occasionally after work. In a random conversation over cocktails and appetizers you tell the story about the time you and your besties went to Miami, partied and relaxed on the beach for a much needed vacation. Something in her eyes indicates she can’t relate, and her statement later confirms it.

“I don’t hang with females. And I don’t have any female friends because women can’t be trusted,” she says.

Although you can understand where she’s coming from, your immediate response is a blank stare. In our lifetime, majority of women have heard at least one woman mumble something similar to the above sentiments. Distrust of women, especially women of color, is at an all time high. Too many Black women have adopted a mentality of automatically having a negative perception of other black women. We have got to stop this.

I know the pain of being hurt by women who I’ve considered dear friends. There have been women who have smiled in my face, who I thought were friends, but then talked about me behind my back. I’m not oblivious to the gut-wrenching pain of losing girlfriends you’ve had for years. But I also know this has only been a small percentage of my experience with women.

A life without girlfriends, presumably, would be a life of misery. It is your girlfriends who nurse you back to health after an unexpected surgery. Girlfriends allow you to cry on their shoulders when a guy breaks your heart. It is your female friends who won’t judge you when you do something stupid, but has the courage to tell you the truth. A bond of sisterhood is invaluable to your life as a woman.

I’ve never rolled with a clique. I think the friendships portrayed in TV shows like “Girlfriends” and “Sex and the City,” where a group of women are all friends, is rare. However, I do have women I’ve met in my lifetime who will always be like sisters. Most of them don’t know each other, and we all have moved to different states. Yet, my friends are my biggest cheerleaders and vice versa.

Due to patriarchy, Black women are conditioned to be hostile toward one another. There are times we will mug each other for no reason, or have unnecessary attitudes toward women we don’t even know. Just the other day, my friend and I were talking about how some black women are suspicious when we throw an unexpected compliment their way. Some give a disapproving look like, “Why are you even approaching me? I don’t know you.” Only to find out you just want to tell her how fierce her shoes are.

Then there are the women who proudly proclaim, “I have all male friends. I’m like one of the guys.” They wear their “one of the guys” title like a badge of honor. And a lot of times it is in the presence of men, almost as if they are trying to impress the men by acknowledging their distrust of women. I’ve heard it all from men are easier to get along with to men don’t gossip like women. Let me be the first to debunk that myth right now. Men do gossip; sometimes, just as much as some women.

Not trusting all women says more about you than it does about the women you don’t trust. There is no reason we as women should believe this notion that women are untrustworthy. Enough of that nonsense is coming out of men’s mouths. Let’s not buy the hype.

A network of women can truly move mountains. Look at Oprah. Her success has largely been in part because of the women who have supported her over the years. DJ Beverly Bond, creator of “Black Girls Rock,” was able to promote her message because of women.

Frankly, I’m leery of anyone who says she doesn’t trust women or doesn’t have any girlfriends. We definitely have to be more conscientious about the ideas we put out and believe about one another. I love my male friends dearly, but I couldn’t imagine my life without my girls. And I hope every woman feels this way about at least one woman in her life.

Women united are a mighty force.


“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”
– Homer Simpson

“Asking ‘who ought to be the boss’ is like asking ‘who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?’ Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.”
– Henry Ford

“Don’t blame the boss. He has enough problems.”
– Donald Rumsfeld

“I’ve been promoted to middle management. I never thought I’d sink so low.”
– Tim Gould

“The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided.”
– Casey Stengal

“The only time some people work like a horse is when the boss rides them.”
– Gabriel Heatter

“There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.”
– Peter Drucker

“To make a long story short, there’s nothing like having a boss walk in.”
– Doris Lilly

“Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.”
– Kin Hubbard

Insistent lady cashier
An old man walked into a shop and got some dog food and went to pay for it at the cashier counter. The lady at the cashier told him that he couldn’t buy the dog food because she needed evidence that he had a dog. The old man protested and told the cashier that her request was ridiculously absurd, but the cashier insisted that he showed her his dog. So the old man brought in his dog and showed it to the cashier and he got to buy the dog food. The next day the same old man went to get some cat food and the cashier told him that he couldn’t buy the cat food until she got evidence that he had a cat. The old man again protested and told the cashier that her request was absurd, but the cashier insisted that he first prove to her that he has a cat. So the old man went home and brought along his cat and he got to buy the cat food. Next day the same old man went in again and he brought along a box. He told the cashier to put her hand into the box and feel its contents and so she did. She said it felt moist, warm, sticky and soft. The old man then said to the cashier, “ Now that you’re satisfied with the evidence, can I have some toilet paper please ? ”