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Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Five Key Skills for Raising Emotional Intelligence When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence (EQ) matters just as much as intellectual ability (IQ). Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals. Learn more about why emotional intelligence is so important and how you can boost your own EQ by mastering five core skills.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others.

If you have high emotional intelligence you are able to recognize your own emotional state and the emotional states of others, and engage with people in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, form healthier relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life.

Emotional intelligence consists of four attributes:

  • Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
  • Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
  • Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
  • Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Why is emotional intelligence (EQ) so important?

As we know, it’s not the smartest people that are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual intelligence (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to be successful in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams.

Emotional intelligence affects:

  • Your performance at work. Emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging job candidates, many companies now view emotional intelligence as being as important as technical ability and require EQ testing before hiring.
  • Your physical health. If you’re unable to manage your stress levels, it can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.
  • Your mental health. Uncontrolled stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand and manage your emotions, you’ll also be open to mood swings, while an inability to form strong relationships can leave you feeling lonely and isolated.
  • Your relationships. By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

How to raise your emotional intelligence

All information to the brain comes through our senses, and when this information is overwhelmingly stressful or emotional, instinct will take over and our ability to act will be limited to the flight, fight, or freeze response. Therefore, to have access to the wide range of choices and the ability to make good decisions, we need to be able to bring our emotions into balance at will.

Memory is also strongly linked to emotion. By learning to use the emotional part of your brain as well as the rational, you’ll not only expand your range of choices when it comes to responding to a new event, but you’ll also factor emotional memory into your decision-making process. This will help prevent you from continually repeating earlier mistakes.

To improve your emotional intelligence—and your decision-making abilities—you need to understand and control the emotional side of your brain. This is done by developing five key skills. By mastering the first two skills, you’ll find skills three, four, and five much easier to learn.

Developing emotional intelligence through five key skills:

Emotional intelligence (EQ) consists of five key skills, each building on the last:

  • The ability to quickly reduce stress
  • The ability to recognize and manage your emotions
  • The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication
  • The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges
  • The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence

How to learn the five key skills of emotional intelligence

The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at any time. There is a difference, however, between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can hijack your best intentions.

In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain active and accessible even in times of stress. This means that you can’t simply read about emotional intelligence in order to master it. You have to experience and practice the skills in your everyday life.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: Rapidly reduce stress

Rapidly reduce stress

High levels of stress can overwhelm the mind and body, getting in the way of your ability to accurately “read” a situation, hear what someone else is saying, be aware of your own feelings and needs, and communicate clearly.

Being able to quickly calm yourself down and relieve stress helps you stay balanced, focused, and in control—no matter what challenges you face or how stressful a situation becomes.

Stress busting: functioning well in the heat of the moment

Develop your stress-busting skills by working through the following three steps:

  • Realize when you’re stressed – The first step to reducing stress is recognizing what stress feels like. How does your body feel when you’re stressed? Are your muscles or stomach tight or sore? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Being aware of your physical response to stress will help regulate tension when it occurs.
  • Identify your stress response – Everyone reacts differently to stress. If you tend to become angry or agitated under stress, you will respond best to stress-relieving activities that quiet you down. If you tend to become depressed or withdrawn, you will respond best to stress-relieving activities that are stimulating. If you tend to freeze—speeding up in some ways while slowing down in others—you need stress-relieving activities that provide both comfort and stimulation.
  • Discover the stress-busting techniques that work for you – The best way to reduce stress quickly is by engaging one or more of your senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing and/or energizing to you. For example, if you’re a visual person you can relieve stress by surrounding yourself with uplifting images. If you respond more to sound, you may find a wind chime, a favorite piece of music, or the sound of a water fountain helps to quickly reduce your stress levels.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: Emotional awareness

Being able to connect to your emotions—having a moment-to-moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your thoughts and actions—is the key to understanding yourself and others.

Many people are disconnected from their emotions—especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy. This may be the result of negative childhood experiences that taught you to try to shut off your feelings. But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can’t eliminate them. They’re still there, whether we’re aware of them or not. Unfortunately, without emotional awareness, we are unable to fully understand our own motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others.

What kind of a relationship do you have with your emotions?

  • Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?
  • Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach or chest?
  • Do you experience discrete feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions?
  • Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your attention and that of others?
  • Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be turned down or turned off. In order to be emotionally healthy and emotionally intelligent, you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become comfortable with them.

Developing emotional awareness

Emotional awareness can be learned at any time of life. If you haven’t learned how to manage stress, it’s important to do so first. When you can manage stress, you’ll feel more comfortable reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing the way you experience and respond to your feelings.

You can develop your emotional awareness by learning the mindfulness meditation in Helpguide’s free Bring Your Life into Balance toolkit that helps you to get in touch with difficult emotions and manage uncomfortable feelings.

Emotional intelligence skill (EQ) 3: Nonverbal communication

Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills. Often, what you say is less important than how you say it, or the other nonverbal signals you send out—the gestures you make, the way you sit, how fast or how loud you talk, how close you stand, or how much eye contact you make. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, you need to be aware of, and in control of, this body language. You also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send you.

These messages don’t stop when someone stops speaking. Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating nonverbally. Think about what you are transmitting as well, and if what you say matches what you feel. If you insist, “I’m fine,” while clenching your teeth and looking away, your body is clearly signaling the opposite. Your nonverbal messages can produce a sense of interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection—or they can generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.

Tips for improving nonverbal communication

Successful nonverbal communication depends on your ability to manage stress, recognize your own emotions, and understand the signals you’re sending and receiving. When communicating:

  • Focus on the other person. If you are planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation.
  • Make eye contact. Eye contact can communicate interest, maintain the flow of a conversation, and help gauge the other person’s response.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal cues you’re sending and receiving, such as facial expression, tone of voice, posture and gestures, touch, and the timing and pace of the conversation.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: Use humor and play to deal with challenges

Use humor to deal with challengesHumor, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to life’s difficulties; they lighten your burdens and help you keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings your nervous system back into balance.

Playful communication broadens your emotional intelligence and helps you:

  • Take hardships in stride. By allowing you to view your frustrations and disappointments from new perspectives, laughter and play enable you to survive annoyances, hard times, and setbacks.
  • Smooth over differences. Using gentle humor often helps you say things that might be otherwise difficult to express without creating a flap.
  • Simultaneously relax and energize yourself. Playful communication relieves fatigue and relaxes your body, which allows you to recharge and accomplish more.
  • Become more creative. When you loosen up, you free yourself of rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing you to get creative and see things in new ways.

How to develop playful communication:

It’s never too late to develop and embrace your playful, humorous side.

  • Try setting aside regular, quality playtime. The more you joke, play, and laugh—the easier it becomes.
  • Find enjoyable activities that loosen you up and help you embrace your playful nature.
  • Practice by playing with animals, babies, young children, and outgoing people who appreciate playful banter.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: Resolve conflict positively

Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.

The ability to manage conflicts in a positive, trust-building way is supported by the previous four skills of emotional intelligence. Once you know how to manage stress, stay emotionally present and aware, communicate nonverbally, and use humor and play, you’ll be better equipped to handle emotionally charged situations and catch and defuse many issues before they escalate.

Tips for resolving conflict in a trust-building way:

  • Stay focused in the present. When you are not holding on to old hurts and resentments, you can recognize the reality of a current situation and view it as a new opportunity for resolving old feelings about conflicts.
  • Choose your arguments. Arguments take time and energy, especially if you want to resolve them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing about and what is not.
  • Forgive. Other people’s hurtful behavior is in the past. To resolve conflict, you need to give up the urge to punish or seek revenge.
  • End conflicts that can’t be resolved. It takes two people to keep an argument going. You can choose to disengage from a conflict, even if you still disagree.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm

Danger of wearing pantyliner everyday

Shocking, shocking, shocking – wearing pantyliner everyday would lead to vagina bacteria infection! This is such a critical issue to me that I wished I could amplify my voice to the whole world and warn all the female counterparts. Not to scare everyone off, there are also mild cases like genital acne problem or yeast infection. But, that is disturbing enough.

I asked the doctor why would wearing pantyliner on a daily basis brings about these issues. Her explanations were simple to understand and I wish to pen them down so that I can remember them and let this be a warning to all of us.

Issues #1

Firstly, the adhesive strip at the bottom of the pantyliner is made of plastic. And, we all know that skin is unable to breath through plastic.

Now image this: You pass out normal genital discharge during the day, your discharge stays on the pantyliner, which would be sticked against your skin for as long as you are still wearing the pantyliner. We also know that bacteria grow much faster in wet and high-temperature area. Now, you see, the bacteria is growing on areas like your Labia Majora and Clitoris. This will highly likely cause gential acne and irritation.

Issue #2

Well, I was thinking, how about those pantyliners that say “super absorbent” or “breathable backsheet”? The doctor said those added attributes definitely require added chemical content. Well, and God knows how those chemical is treating our skin.

Issue #3

I sort of forgotten the real purpose of pantyliner until the doctor mention it again, and here is what I found on Wiktionary. A pad worn on the inner surface of women’s underwear … during a shoulder-day of the menstrual period, designed to absorb small, spotty quantities of menstrual fluid, in contrast to a tampon or sanitary napkin, worn on heavy-flow days.

Yes, if you got it right, pantyliners are meant for spotting days, and not to be worn on a daily affair.

One thing you can do for yourself

The type of panties that we wear would contribute to the problem too. It is strongly advisable to wear panties that is made of at least 95% cotton. Cotton is absorbent and creates less abrasion against the skin, thus, lower chance of developing genital irritation.

Girls, ladies, babes, we should take care of our own bodies, because we own them.

http://bodytreats.wordpress.com/2008/02/23/danger-of-wearing-pantyliner-everyday/

WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
… By Matt Groening (Creator of The Simpsons and Life in Hell)
Deep Thoughts about Gender Differences

SEX: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults. Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
MAGAZINES: Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women’s magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman’s body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
HANDWRITING: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship.
They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
COMEDY: Let’s say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of the Three Stooges comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man’s favorite Stooge. The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom – a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from a Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
WEDDINGS: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about “the ceremony.”
Men talk about “the bachelor party.”
SOCKS: Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks.
Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
MENOPAUSE: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction – he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
THE TELEPHONE: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
RICHARD GERE: Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.
Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
PLANTS: A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
CAMERAS: Men take photography very seriously

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Women_speak_in_estrogen_and_men_listen_in_testosterone#ixzz1hcFAT0gU

How to Avoid Damaged Women
By jagmarcoux

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Avoid-Damaged-Women
This is a touchy topic. You must all know at least one guy whether you be male or female that has had a bad relationship with a woman. I have had a few, I’m sure you have and maybe people you know have gone through the same thing. I’ll be writing a topic later on the same situation geared for my women friends out there, but today, it’s for the guys. Don’t get me wrong, I have women friends, and two sisters who have been through situations of crazy women in their boyfriend’s lives, so they can relate to what I’m writing about.. (Nancy, you remember when you first started dating Shaun and the trouble pyscho Lily was giving you?) lolol..I’m sure she is chuckling right now. Love you little sis!

There is a great document that I found about two years ago that actually helped me avoid future bad realtionships, called how to avoid the damaged women guide. It was an eye opener for me and helped me weed out the bad ones, especially the ones that I met on Internet dating sites. I recommended it to three of my male friends and my sister got a copy too!! I also highly recommend it to all the guys and gals out there who know of crazies like these affecting their fathers, brothers, friends, etc.

Men, sometimes you really to to put aside the physical aspects and see through that varnished artifical armour to see through the real insecure, clingy person beneath. A really damaged woman can affect all areas of your life. She can ruin your career, drain your bank account, make accusations that land you on abuse registries or with domestic violence charges, or damage your children emotionally. She can plaster your face on websites and fliers alleging all sorts of behavior you never did. She can stalk you, your friends, your family, or your children. She can slash your tires, get your fired from your job, or sleep with your friends.

You want to meet the women of your dreams, start by weeding out the bad ones and this will take you to the right one!

Consider this “Insider Information”. But it’s something Common Sense we should know.
The best 6-minute video you’ll hear in a while…..

Confessions of a Pharmaceutical Executive….
Confesiones de una Representante de la Industria Farmacéutica

Lipstick Harmful For Teeth
Thursday, February 18, 2010

Researchers at the University of Sao Paulo have discovered lipsticks are bad for health. They found that a lot of lip products contain hard paraffin, a substance that ruins teeth enamel.
Makeup products use a little amount of paraffin, but, if applied regularly, this could lead to caries, according to the head of research group, Antonio Habier.

Paraffin firmly sticks to the surface of teeth, gluing infinitesimal particles of food, which creates a breeding ground for the reproduction of infectious bacteria. You can erase paraffin leftovers only by repeatedly brushing your teeth.

Regular use of lipstick leads to more infectious bacteria, making tiny cracks in the enamel. Those cracks are invisible to your eyes, and you won’t be aware of decaying process until you notice large cavities of decay. So the experts recommend women who often retouch their lips to provide more protection for their teeth.

http://geniusbeauty.com/woman-health/lipstick-harmful-teeth/

Where does your man keep his condoms? Where’s the strangest place you’ve seen them at a dude’s place?

1. What it means if he keeps condoms everywhere…
A gentleman will keep his sex habits to himself (in terms of a dating blogger, who claims to be a gentleman, saying this, please feel free to comment with a giant “FAIL!”). He won’t leave condoms everywhere in plain sight, letting you know or think that he’s in constant need.

Extra points off he leaves them so that you can “mistakenly” find them, like peeking out of his bedside table; if he’s going to pretend to be a giant man-whore, he should at least have the decency to own it.

2. What it means if he keeps condoms in the bathroom…
This used to be my go-to, but I’ve since learned. I understand the temptation to keep all things purchased within the walls of a pharmacy in the bathroom, but not only is it inconvenient to say “excuse me” and go jogging across your apartment, in full-boner, and then back, to fetch a condom, but there’s an added chance for error, or loss of interest, that I am no longer willing to risk. I could fall, or bang my shin, or get distracted by my phone. Or worse, by the time I got back, she could have become engaged with her knitting, found something better to do, or otherwise come to her senses.

3. What it means if he keeps condoms nowhere…
Obvious red flag, though completely forgivable in the right circumstances, which include “I guess I ran out,” (man-whore embarrassment) or “I didn’t think I’d be having sex,” (unprepared embarrassment), or “I thought you’d have one,” (presumption embarrassment).

Even with the above, I think a lack of protection is a good reason to raise some eyebrows.
There can be a perfectly reasonably explanation, but if he’s not used to using condoms, and by that I mean, he’s used to having sex without them, beware.

For the record, I keep mine (which are Durex, Bare—they are the least obtrusive—the thinnest brand I can trust) in four places: my Naughty Book, a large volume that has some pages carved out of it, next to my bed; the drawer of my nightstand, next to my bed (in a small white sack labeled “condoms,” which I took from a hotel); one “emergency condom” in an antique cigarette case on my book shelf; in my bathroom (medicine chest for backups and toiletry bag for travel).

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/single-ish/2010/11/sex-where-guys-keep-their-cond.html#ixzz18WzDXS7S