‘I Don’t Trust Women’: Don’t Believe the Hype

‘I Don’t Trust Women’: Don’t Believe the Hype
By Bene | February 1, 2011

At work you’ve formed a cordial relationship with one of the other women, and you start eating lunch with her regularly. Both of you share some of the same interests, the two of you are always laughing together and seem to get along well. Eventually, the break room chats turn into hanging out occasionally after work. In a random conversation over cocktails and appetizers you tell the story about the time you and your besties went to Miami, partied and relaxed on the beach for a much needed vacation. Something in her eyes indicates she can’t relate, and her statement later confirms it.

“I don’t hang with females. And I don’t have any female friends because women can’t be trusted,” she says.

Although you can understand where she’s coming from, your immediate response is a blank stare. In our lifetime, majority of women have heard at least one woman mumble something similar to the above sentiments. Distrust of women, especially women of color, is at an all time high. Too many Black women have adopted a mentality of automatically having a negative perception of other black women. We have got to stop this.

I know the pain of being hurt by women who I’ve considered dear friends. There have been women who have smiled in my face, who I thought were friends, but then talked about me behind my back. I’m not oblivious to the gut-wrenching pain of losing girlfriends you’ve had for years. But I also know this has only been a small percentage of my experience with women.

A life without girlfriends, presumably, would be a life of misery. It is your girlfriends who nurse you back to health after an unexpected surgery. Girlfriends allow you to cry on their shoulders when a guy breaks your heart. It is your female friends who won’t judge you when you do something stupid, but has the courage to tell you the truth. A bond of sisterhood is invaluable to your life as a woman.

I’ve never rolled with a clique. I think the friendships portrayed in TV shows like “Girlfriends” and “Sex and the City,” where a group of women are all friends, is rare. However, I do have women I’ve met in my lifetime who will always be like sisters. Most of them don’t know each other, and we all have moved to different states. Yet, my friends are my biggest cheerleaders and vice versa.

Due to patriarchy, Black women are conditioned to be hostile toward one another. There are times we will mug each other for no reason, or have unnecessary attitudes toward women we don’t even know. Just the other day, my friend and I were talking about how some black women are suspicious when we throw an unexpected compliment their way. Some give a disapproving look like, “Why are you even approaching me? I don’t know you.” Only to find out you just want to tell her how fierce her shoes are.

Then there are the women who proudly proclaim, “I have all male friends. I’m like one of the guys.” They wear their “one of the guys” title like a badge of honor. And a lot of times it is in the presence of men, almost as if they are trying to impress the men by acknowledging their distrust of women. I’ve heard it all from men are easier to get along with to men don’t gossip like women. Let me be the first to debunk that myth right now. Men do gossip; sometimes, just as much as some women.

Not trusting all women says more about you than it does about the women you don’t trust. There is no reason we as women should believe this notion that women are untrustworthy. Enough of that nonsense is coming out of men’s mouths. Let’s not buy the hype.

A network of women can truly move mountains. Look at Oprah. Her success has largely been in part because of the women who have supported her over the years. DJ Beverly Bond, creator of “Black Girls Rock,” was able to promote her message because of women.

Frankly, I’m leery of anyone who says she doesn’t trust women or doesn’t have any girlfriends. We definitely have to be more conscientious about the ideas we put out and believe about one another. I love my male friends dearly, but I couldn’t imagine my life without my girls. And I hope every woman feels this way about at least one woman in her life.

Women united are a mighty force.

@WrittenByBene

http://bitchielife.necolebitchie.com/2011/02/i-dont-trust-women-dont-believe-the-hype/

7%

7%

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Its estimated 93% won’t shared this. If you are one of the 7% who will,share this with the title ‘7%’.

I’m in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose.

Why Is Gratitude So Important?

Why Is Gratitude So Important?
By Caroline Nettle

Gratitude is a state of mind that comes from really appreciating what you have already and being thankful for it. If you can truly look at your life and everything in it and be grateful, you are much more likely to be content, and to attract more of the same to yourself in the future.

If you are someone who has spent a long time being miserable, or envious, or sad, or grieving, or jealous, gratitude can be very difficult to find. Perhaps you grew up in a household filled with hatred, illness, bitterness or quarrels, and so your default position is far removed from grateful and content. When you have been conditioned to think that any of the above is normal, it can be very challenging to change your beliefs and unlearn your default emotional settings.

At the beginning of the gratitude journey, it can be extremely hard to find things to be grateful for, and let go of the pain. However, one really good trick is to start a notebook and have it by your bed, and each night try to find ten things to be grateful for that have happened to you that day. When you start, it may be simple things like “I did not crash the car today when I was driving”, or “I ate enough food today to keep me from starving”, or “I have a job that pays my bills even if I do not love it”.

It could be that you are grateful for all the people who worked hard in order for you to be able to eat your dinner tonight- the farmers, the packers, the drivers, the supermarket shelf stockers, the cashiers and so on. Or it could be all those who contributed to your cup of coffee, or provided the electricity.

As you fill up your notebook day by day, you will end up with a stack of books in the corner that are full of everything you are grateful for, and on days when you are feeling down, you can see all the things you have to be grateful for in your life.

Many hundreds of people in one day all work so that you can drive your car, iron your shirts and live your life as you choose. However, when we are in ungratefulness, we cannot see all the support that surrounds us on a daily basis, nor can we see all the help that we give to others.

Another great trick is to go on a gratitude walk and spend the entire walk looking for things to be grateful for- the beautiful trees, birds, grass, ponds, your family, friends, your hobbies….there are many things that you can be grateful for if you choose to be.

As you get further into your gratitude journey, you begin to understand that actually life is a gift and that there is always something to be grateful for. Even when the situation does not go the way you would like it to, you can learn to be grateful for the lesson and the growth that the situation is teaching you.

This is very different to the poor me and why does this always happen to me mindset, where we are victim to an unfeeling world that is out to get us. Gradually we learn that events occur in life to everyone and some are good and some are not so good, but none of them are personal, they just happen. We continue to learn and grow, all the while knowing that we will survive to live another day, most of the time.

Gratitude for all that you are means that you no longer spend your time giving energy to your jealousy, resentment, anger, or bitterness. You instead funnel your energy into love, peace, and tolerance for all that is, and rejoice in your new found freedom from pain and misery.

Written by Caroline Nettle

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/why-is-gratitude-so-important

Salad Fixing Ideas to Liven Up Your Meal

Salad Fixing Ideas to Liven Up Your Meal
by Saurabh
Wed Mar 04, 2009

Whenever you are fixing a salad, there are always a few ingredients that instantly come to mind. There is really no helping it, you will either think of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. You are possibly thinking of cheese and your favorite dressing too, but in any case, all of those ingredients are already too cliché. You can be very creative when it comes to salads too, and we get to explore other salad fixing ideas through this article.

When you go visit your favorite salad bar, I bet the first thing you will see is the lettuce section. As a matter of fact, creativity starts with this basic ingredient among salads. Chances are that the salad bar you frequent will contain other types of lettuce. Instead of choosing the one you like, try mixing them all up. The taste difference can be subtle, but this is where it all starts.

Next, try adding more of those vibrant colored vegetables into your salad. If you think about it, vegetables with different colors not only act as a decoration to your meal but can be very appetizing as well. Carrots and peppers look nice in a salad, or opt in for some “bloom” by adding in broccolis, cauliflowers or mushrooms too.

Most vegetables used in stir fry are also perfect as salad fixings. Zucchinis and baby ears of corn are perfect examples. Most people don’t even think about adding these ingredients for a salad, but actually they contribute a great deal of flavor if added into the mix.

All in all, a salad can be fixed with just about any vegetable you can think of. There is a reason why salads are considered to be very healthy meals, and are used frequently by those who are in diet or watching their weights. Just think about the nutritional value of each salad serving, especially when you add all the fixings just mentioned above.

It is not only vegetables that add nutritional value to a salad. For a really well rounded meal, you can also add fruit into the mix. Most salad bars contain apples, pineapples and bananas. Other than these, there are also a couple of berry types you can use. Dried fruits like raisins or prunes add a lot of flavor to the mix. Generally, fruits are sweet and can really satisfy your palate. They add a lot of vitamins and minerals too, which means you’re adding more nutrition to your meal besides those from the vegetables.

Lastly, it’s worth considering also those toppings you see at the end of the salad bar line. Seeds, nuts and meat bits populate this area and instead of just going with the conventional cheese, why not add these ingredients too? You’ll be surprised at how much flavor they can contribute to your salad. The trick is just to experiment, and you’ll soon have your new favorites at the end of the meal.

In summary, when it comes to salad fixings, the sky is really the limit to how much experiment you can do. It’s hard to break a tried and tested recipe, but as you try new things you might have never imagined eating in a salad, you’ll soon find the new ingredients worth the taste too. Give those neglected fixings a chance, it’s really much better and more fun that way.

Author : Letty Velasco

http://www.fropki.com/salad-fixing-ideas-liven-your-meal-vt34374.html

Life Is Short

Life Is Short

Don’t sell your soul, life, and time for money for too long of a period. Don’t let little things get in your way of what you really want to do with your life. Stop making excuses about why you can’t do something. If you really want something, you got to go and get it. Let go of your “should’s” and make your dreams a “must”. Until you do that, your dreams will stay just that, a dream and won’t become reality.

Life is to be experience and enjoyed. Life is not meant to be spent doing something you don’t want to do your whole life. Plan out your life so that you can soon do what you want, and work because you want to not because you have to, that is, if you even decide to work.

Everyone is looking for one thing in life: Happiness. So why is it that most people want to cling to things that make them unhappy? The answer is FEAR. Fear of losing that sense of security, which for most of us, is a false sense of security.

Because life is short, you need to quit doing what the average person does or you will end up living a life that average people live. Be a kid again and dream big. Don’t let the limitations of your income bring your dreams down. Plan your life in a way that will let you experience those dreams. By doing so you will inspire those around you.

Don’t get caught up in making a living instead of designing your life. Don’t be one of those people who wake up one day when they’re old and say to themselves “what happened to my life?” Letting the little things in life get in the way of big things in life is foolish.

You’re probably thinking one of three things at this point (that is if you’ve read this far). One is “life is short, blah blah blah, easy for this guy to say, he doesn’t know me, he doesn’t know how complicated and hard my life is”. Two: “Eh, I’m cool where I am right now, I might not being living my dreams, but I’m comfortable”. Three: “I understand where he’s getting at, but even if I wanted to live out my dreams, I wouldn’t know where to start”.

1. Whatever you’re facing or going through, there are millions of people who have it worse than you. Stop complaining about circumstances. Circumstances happen to everyone, it’s what you do about it that matters. If you keep complaining, you will only end up living a life worth complaining about.

2. Being in the middle is probably the worse place to be. You’re not living the life you want to live but your life is not bad enough for you to do anything about it. This is where most dreams are destroyed and lives are ruined. We get comfortable. We start rationalizing “it’s not that bad, I have it better than a lot of the people I know”.

If you want to be average, keep rationalizing. If you want to live your dreams, be honest with yourself. Don’t be like the dog that whines because he’s lying on a nail but doesn’t do anything about it because it doesn’t hurt enough. Jump on that damn nail as hard as you can so that it will wake you up and get you moving towards the life you really want to live.

3. Everything starts with you. For things to change, you must change. As long as you have strong enough reasons why you MUST live the life you dream of, the “how-to” will eventually come to you. That determination and undeniable belief that you WILL live your dreams will soon attract people into your life who can help you get to where you want to be. Start surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you and who can see you for who you can become instead of just who you are today.

Negative people are energy drainers, dream stealers, life destroyers and you should get as far away from them as possible. Your life will never far exceed the expectations from your peer group. Want to know how your life will turn out, look at your friends. If you don’t like what you see, get new friends.

In closing, never forget that life is short. Tomorrow was never promised. No one ever said you will still be alive 5 years from now, or even 3 months from now. The more time you spend on doing things you don’t like, the less time you will have doing the things you enjoy. What ever it is you want to do in life, start today, don’t delay, make a plan and start right now!

My reflections

Are evil creatures really ugly or we just want to believe that they are?

Are evil creatures really ugly or we just want to believe that they are?

Lucifer

Satan is not Lucifer’s name, but it is a title that was given to him after God damned him from heaven. Lucifer is a Latin word (from the words lucem ferre), literally meaning “light-bearer”, which in that language is used as a name for the dawn appearance of the planet Venus, heralding daylight. A myth of the fall of angels, associated with the Morning Star, was transferred to Satan. Because he contrived “to make his throne higher than the clouds over the earth and resemble ‘My power’ on high”, Satan-Sataniel was hurled down, with his hosts of angels, and since then he has been flying in the air continually above the abyss.

However, some contemporary exorcists and theologians such as Father Jose Antonio Fortea and Father Amorth in their experience and based on Biblical interpretations assert that Lucifer and Satan are different beings. In the New Testament the Adversary has many names, but “Lucifer” is not among them. He is called “Satan”, “devil”, “adversary”, “enemy”, “accuser”, “old serpent”, “great dragon”, Beelzebub and Belial.

The bible doesn’t describe Satan specifically as “the most beautiful angel” but it does say that Satan was perfect in beauty, full of wisdom and adorned. Like all the other angles he was created perfectly and given a certain amount of authority. He was also given free will and because of this, inequity found it’s way into him. It also says that Satan was lifted up because of his beauty, and that he corrupted the wisdom by reason of his brightness.

Lilith

Lilith is a female Mesopotamian night demon believed to harm male children. In the Talmud and Midrash, Lilith appears as a night demon. She is often identified as the first wife of Adam and sometimes thought to be the mother of all incubi and succubi, a legend that arose in the Middle Ages. Lilith is also sometimes considered to be the paramour of Satan.

She is a mythological female Mesopotamian storm demon associated with wind and was thought to be a bearer of disease, illness, and death. The figure of Lilith first appeared in a class of wind and storm demons or spirits as Lilitu, in Sumer, circa 3000 BC. Many scholars place the origin of the phonetic name “Lilith” at somewhere around 700 BC. Lilith appears as a night demon in Jewish lore and as a screech owl in the King James version of the Bible.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus seems to be of Persian origin and may be identical to the demon Aeshma, one of the seven arch-demons of Persian mythology. According to that tradition, he visited heaven every day to eavesdrop on the angels’ conversations.

The Latinized version of his name may be derived from the Hebrew, Ashmedai or Shamad (‘to destroy’), and it is among the Jews that Asmodeus achieved his highest degree of power. He belongs to the order of the Seraphim, the highest order of angels, from whence he fell. He is the son of Naamah and Shamdon. In his female incarnation, Asmodeus is the spirit of lust and the beautiful sister of Tubal-Cain. Asmodeus inspires men with such lust that they betray their wives.

Imamiah

In the cabala, an angel of the order of principalities, or rather an ex-angel of that order, since he is fallen. In hell he supervises and controls voyages, and destroys and humiliates enemies, when he is invoked to do so, or is so disposed.

He was once one of the 72 angels that bore the name of God Shemhamphorae.

Abaddon – Apollyon

Apollyon – The Greek name, meaning “Destroyer,” given in Revelation 9:11 for “the angel of the bottomless pit” (in Hebrew called Abaddon), also identified as the king of the demonic “locusts” described in Revelation 9:3-10…In one manuscript, instead of Apollyon the text reads “Apollo,” the Greek god of death and pestilence as well as of the sun, music, poetry, crops and herds, and medicine.

In the Hebrew scriptures, Abaddon comes to mean “place of destruction,” or the realm of the dead, and is associated with Sheol

http://www.evilsunday.com/lucifer-beautiful-fallen-angels/

Be Okay With Not Being a God

Be Okay With Not Being a God
Basic logic can take some strange turns in the minds of individuals with very poor self-esteem, as noted above several times. Another strange twist of logic can sometimes lead to the distressing demand on self that, short of omniscience and omnipotence (all knowing and all powerful), nothing is good enough when it comes to one’s own performance in life. This is an extremely silly thing to do to one’s self and it often takes someone else pointing it out.

http://www.head-cleaners.com/selfesteem.html#godly

My reflections toward life